Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
