You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
