I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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