just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
