I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
