i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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