If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
