If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
