either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Operation Purity has been aborted
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
