since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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