i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
