okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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