Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
