I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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