Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
