I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
