I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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