HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
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