I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
