This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
