Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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