Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
