I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
