Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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