Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
