I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
