Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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