Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
