I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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