i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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