I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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