i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
