no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
