Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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