dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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