He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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