I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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