It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
