im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize