Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This is the high leading the old right now
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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