All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
