Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
