no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize