He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
