theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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