i need an iv and a liver transplant
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we're so committed to being not committed
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
