I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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