So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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