I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
