Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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