You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I will pee on everything he values.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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