You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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