just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
