i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
