Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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