Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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