my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
