your thong is hanging out like whoa
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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