Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
