ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
